Authentic Leadership Institute

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Imagine the difference between asking these two different types of questions in your work and personal relationships. Which category does this question fall into? "Why can't my relationships be more fulfilling?" How about this question: "How can I help make my relationships more fulfilling?" It's rather obvious. Which questions do you typically ask about yourself or your relationships? Either write them down or just articulate them to yourself. The answers you receive are only as good as the questions you ask.

How about some stimulating questions? Consider these when you contemplate work relationships:

How can I create more fulfilling, productive relationships with my workmates?
How can I express more appreciation with my workmates?
How can I/we make my relationships at work better, more creative?

Of course, we can only ask good questions when we give ourselves permission to ask questions in the first place. We must be willing to ask if we truly want to receive. Most of us are waiting to receive what we are unwilling to ask for. Then we get hurt and angry that other people have not delivered the goods that we ourselves did not request. Drama develops, conflicts emerge, and misunderstandings abound.

Consider the following questions as guides to help you discover any obstacles to asking:

What has stopped me from asking until now?
What am I afraid of finding out?
What reactions do I expect?
Am I afraid that I will not be able to cope with other people's reactions?

By learning more about your fears, you will not be so driven by them. Then you are freer to ask and to receive or, if your questions do not lead to satisfying responses, you have more material with which to work. You at least know what's not working, rather than being left to your imagination only. So ask questions and be open to new levels of learning and creating.

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